eventide summer

coming home.

  Anne was behind the bathroom door, brushing teeth and doing leg lifts.  We had the same idea.
'What smells like a sweaty spaniard in here, Anne?' She pointed to Abe's shorts laid over the bathtub.

'Anna-Lou!' Merry said through the door, eying us both in the mirror,  'I don't know where you've been, but I've been holding this phone for at least 5 minutes!'  Melody's head appeared in the shadow behind Merry's and she ventured,
'If anyone wants to fix my hair for driveway dance, then…that would be nice.'
Anne explained, 'Merry, I was ready to exercise thirty minutes ago, but you said you had to do your little thing.'
I sighed.  Who's pile of hair is that in the floor?...Y'all…c'mon.'  {I try to…. encourage my sistren to sweep up their locks after brushing them out in the floors.}   Melody started laughing.
'They're mine…remember?'  And I did. Because I had brushed them out yesterday when I'd been fixing her hair. Drat. I'm constantly cornering myself, then slapping me, and laughing.

Today was my second time to "jump off"  a car.

visually: Me leaping from the roof of a car.

   Actually: Me trying to remember all the instructions Chris gave to me over my dying phone the one other time I'd done it before, then acting like I knew what to do this time: 'HEH! Jump off a car? Old hat, my dear, a terribly old hat.'…..But when it came to doing it, all I could think was, "Which one am I supposed to attach first??? Red or Black??? Wait…how do I open the hood??  Didn't he say by all means not to let one of them touch ANYTHING once the other one is attached???  I was just glad that this time all of Chris' neighbors were not watching me from their front porches.  But as I attached them, then sat in the truck waiting, I could imagine a clicking noise, then a deafening explosion, and then later, me in the hospital with hanging head, trying to explain to Chris "I thought I had the right ones attached…?"  Machines are such volatile things in my mind.
You can imagine the victory when the car took the feed and started, peacefully. {though, this was with Mama re-adjusting the cord some}.

And now I am taking a crew of kids home.  A crew of happy tired kids with pine straw taped to their faces because they want to be old men,

  good eve.

of madness and brumly.

In our family we firmly believe in butter, double dipping, and prefacing any story with topics, side stories, tidbits of information and observations, regrets and insecurities - relevant, or irrelevant - as long as it adds a little more spice, background, understanding or laughter to the subject. This last habit of heavily prefacing any story, fact or message was pointed out to us today at breakfast among eggs and buttermilk biscuits, coffee and fresh peach jams.  Unfortunately Daddy had just put some biscuit and jam in his mouth when Abraham began this observation and Daddy had to keep it there for the rest of the five or so minutes that Abe was talking because Daddy never stopped laughing long enough to swallow.
  "It's occurred to me," Abe began, "that it must be a family trait for us to heavily introduce any given subject. We can't just say 'Hey guess what?  Today I got hit by a car at 70 miles per hour!' We'd have to start, 'Well, I got up at five o'clock this morning, and if I hadn't been up at all hours last night, I probably wouldn't have had such a hard time waking up. But really I only drank one cup of coffee, when I should have drunk two - I promise I only drank one - and I started driving my way to work.  I decided about a week ago that I should be keeping up with some more people, so on the way to work I thought I should call so-and-so but while I was doing that the cd needed to be changed, so as I was trying to fix it, I suddenly looked up - and, you know how you have those moments of thinking to yourself right before something happens - I looked up and saw that truck coming towards me and I thought - well, I knew he must be going about 70 miles per hour and I thought - ….uh oh….'

 There are some times you must hold your own hand or your stomach or your knees or some other object because you're simply too tense and limp with laughter to do anything else. It was one of those times this morning because that hit us all square in the chest and realizing that if we ever did have to give a yes or no question it'd be like pulling nails.  That, plus the fact that poor daddy is about the only practical, yes or no person among us and that he's been in the clutch of people who will drag out a topic for however long it takes for them to examine every angle, savor every new glimpse of an old scene, turn over the same words, phrases, predicaments over and over, to where he is dazed in the repetitive grind and can no longer function, but was long lost in the maze of crossfires of winding thoughts and narratives.

   It's good to know these things about one's family, oneself.  I believe it aids in coping - in a small degree - to society and the world at large in recognizing them.

Mama made apple pie. I'm going to make another soon. Very.

King Burger…your way…?

    Sometimes a hamburger sounds like the best thing in the world and as I was suddenly and intensely hungry and also on my way to interview some potential clients for a wedding, I figured I should get something to eat and not be sitting in that quiet parlor shooting anxious sideways glances every time my stomach growled.  So, I went to King Burger, and couldn't decide between drive through or going inside, but I ended up doing both because once I'd ordered my food I realized that I was really thirsty…for coke.. {horrible, i know, but sometimes coke is just so good. } Well, here's where I was reminded of just how silly I can be.  I pay for my coke {after waiting a looong time for a man to decide between #1 and #5, and cash or credit or change} then walk over by the fountain drinks to the ice and hold out my hand without the cup, which she reminded me I'd forgotten.  Retrieve it and hold it under the ice…nothing. Ok, so the next ice dispenser…nope. Nothing coming, but that's the moment I realized it was jammed!!!
victory: Remove large obstacle of fused ice which is blocking the pathway of other ice and proceed to fill cup with ice.
 I go to working on this piece of ice, grab a napkin and am attempting to 'melt' it out, but that cotton picker wouldn't budge. The maddening thing was that it was just large enough to not come but small enough to keep me believing that if I could work on it just a little more I'd have it.  I got involved. Studied the mechanics, the estimated time of removal, the force of what it'd take to get it out,  considered simply breaking plastic, applied heat where possible … During this, I happened to glance over my shoulder toward the counter..I don't know, maybe it was tinted with slight desperation, but whatever the case may be, it was enough for the two laid back older black guys to look at me and say in a half laugh,
"Ain' no ice."
….Now, you can imagine my chagrin.  They'd been watching me the whole time and there I'd been wrastling this ice machine for the past 5 minutes and really, I couldn't believe they'd stood there and watched me do it. So I told them,
"No ice??? … I can't believe you just stood there and watched me do this!"
At which they burst out laughing and as I filled up my coke - luke warm - they kept laughing with an occasional,
"She was pullin on that thang! She didn't know they ain' nothin' in there…"
And as I walked out, they were still laughing, but I was too, so I guess that's called a win win.

  OH!!! Home Depot just does something to my insides. I walk in there and feel like I could tear down my whole part of the house and renovate it with my bare hands and a saw.  That smell, the rows of 24 ft. tall shelves, packed with ANY thing you could ever possibly need for ANYTHING…it's overwhelming and dangerous for me to go in there.  I never feel quite satisfied walking out until I can envision dumping my imaginary house inside out and starting with a clean slate full of all the wonderful possibilities in my head and home depot…I passed just the sign tonight and it took all I had not to turn into it, and imagine all the way home what I could do with its treasure store of usefulnesses.

summer grass and thoughts...

     Are our minds not incredible things?  We live with them for decades and become accustomed to the unruffled method of thinking.  We take it for granted that we've settled into the State of Being in that thought place, which we'll be forever. But then a passage in a book, an unexpected conversation, a scene of particularly blended, light, texture, pattern and we're spirited away, as it were, to tunnels of thought we never knew existed. Nor would we have ever thought to ask if they existed as the natures of these thought tunnels are so wholly unimaginable.  And so then, from those mind caverns which we find ourselves in, we concoct experiments, we imagine theories, and connect potential dots to puzzlements of life in general.  Could there be a whole part of our minds that is simply bursting with brilliance and new thoughts??? How many times have we dreamed of beautiful compositions - music we've never heard, places we've never seen and poems we've never read, yet when we wake up it's fresh, almost vivid and just beyond our grasp? …  How masterfully crafted, how intricately designed!  We live in them and are them, and yet, we learn from them, in a way, discovering and exploring their unknown wilderness.

   Today was grass cutting and I do believe cutting grass is not only therapeutic but inspirational. I made two important discoveries today, namely:

* the combination of a hint of sweet grass, crushed {aged} pine cones, a pinch of summer dust and a little dab of lawnmower engine scent, would make an excellent cologne.
* i can pressure wash the dirt from my nails much more easily, quickly and comfortably than I can attempt to remove all such matter with jabby metal points.

 Oh goodness!!! the preacher was right when he said "Vaniy and vexation of spirit"!…That's all this world is! But thanks be to God our Father for His unspeakable gift and that He's begotten us unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

 Heaven is going to be so good. 

So. good.

if i were a rabbit i would run here.

...daddy's tomatoes…

please note the dirt line. one of the dirtiest mowings yet, for some reason.

quiet place

"And then there are days," she admitted in a whisper, "that I find a storm quite and completely irresistible."

~~~~~~~~~~

 So many times in my life I feel as if God has kept me in the eye of a hurricane...that quiet place He reserves for His children when all things are a swirling confusion outside and around us, yet, in that place He keeps us sheltered, protected. I'm so thankful for this Strongtower, this Shield, my King, my Captain, my God who leads me beside the still waters, restores my soul, and hides me under the shadow of His wing.

~~~~~~~~~~

 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. 

 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; 
 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. 

There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.